Choosing a Facility

​Before choosing a facility, first consider the needs of your loved one.  You might be surprised at how much help they actually need.  Click the "Needs Assessment" button below to access the needs of your own loved one.  Just type the point value from column B into column C if your loved one requires the service listed in column A.    You can determine the estimated level of care needed by comparing the total points with the Care Levels listed in column D.  Facilities may vary in their point system but this will give you some idea of the care needed to keep your loved one safe and comfortable.  

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When choosing a facility, be sure you are comfortable there.  If you're not comfortable, your loved one won't be either; however, just because the facility is new and pretty, it may not have all of the requirements your loved one needs. 

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A few things to include in your review are whether the facility is clean, no urine odor, they have a polite and friendly staff that your loved one can understand, and your loved one likes the food.  Believe it or not, this can be extremely important when deciding which facility is right.  If your loved one doesn't like the food and won't eat, it can cause health issues for them.  Another thing to consider is the timing of the meals.  Some facilities keep the dining room open all day so the residents can eat at a time that suits their routine, rather than having set meal times.  Most facilities will allow you to eat in the dining room and try the food. 

​Choose a facility that reminds them of home.  Be sure that when they get up from their chair, they go the same way to the bathroom or kitchen if possible.  Try to find one that accommodates their routine as best you can.  Surround them with things that are familiar and that give them happy feelings.  It's not easy to move after 50 years in the same house.  Be conscience of that.  Once you move them to a facitilty, don't forget about them!  Don't think that because they are now "safe" and you don't have to worry so much about them that they don't need you.  They do!  More than ever!

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When choosing a facility, be sure to read the fine print.  Some have verbiage that says you must give the facility a 60 day notice prior to leaving, even in case of the resident's demise.  So be careful!

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Another thing to watch out for is licensure.  Some facilites are not licensed as a long term care facility, or their license only covers certain things.  This could effect whether your long term care insurance policy will pay, whether or not they can disperse medications, and whether or not your loved one qualifies to live there.  Usually the facility will send someone out to do an assessment to determine if the person qualifies to live at their facility.  They are making sure that the needs of your loved isn't out of the bounds of their license.

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If you are considering an assisted living facility that also has a memory care unit, there can be a stigma associated with it by both the residents, and the staff.  If the residents seems fearful of "the other side", indicating the memory care unit, there may be an issue at the facility.  How can you know?  Talk to the residents when you visit the facility.  They'll tell you!  Go to the dining room at mealtime.  It is a good time to talk to the other residents.

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In our case, we found out too late that my mom was being threatened by the staff that she would have to "move to the other side" because they didn't want to do some of the extra tasks for her.  Even though we were paying for the added services, the staff didn't know that, nor did they care.  All they knew was that they had to work harder to care for her and they received the same pay.

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If your loved one does have memory issues, deciding when they need the memory care unit is tough.  When we moved my mom out of the first facility, we made the decision to go ahead and put her in the memory care unit for two reasons.  Each move or "event" is harder on those with memory issues so we wanted to get her settled and not have to move her again right away.

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The main reason we decided on the memory care unit was this: at the other facility she was getting yelled at for leaving her apartment because they were "afraid she would get lost".  She started referring to the place as a prison.  That was awful for her!  So although it was hard for us to put her in a locked unit, it was better for HER because she actually had more freedom to walk around and go outside in the courtyard if she wanted, she could move around and not get yelled at for being out of her room.  She no longer felt like a prisoner.

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It is important when choosing a memory care facility that the staff understands the differences of care for these individuals.  Residents with memory issues must be treated as adults, not as children.  That was the most difficult for mom to take.  She no longer got to choose what she did, or when.  She was told when and how and what to do.  After being in charge for so many years, to start being treated like a child was a tough adjustment. 

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Tour the facility and make sure the staff isn't yelling at the residents.  My mom has better hearing than I do.  When the staff is always speaking to everyone like they're deaf, it causes those who can hear to feel like they are constantly being yelled at.  Be sure the staff is sensitive to INDIVIDUAL needs and doesn't treat them all the same.  They're not! 

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Most facilities have an Activities Director.  Go to the facility and watch how they interact with the residents and what happens to the residents who do not wish to participate.   Does the regular staff take this time for their break, leaving only the Activities Director in the room?  Do the residents who don't participate have to sit for long periods of time in an uncomfortable chair?

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Speaking of uncomfortable chairs; be sure that the staff is aware enough to move your loved one if they can't do it themselves.  One of the most painful things to do to someone is put them in a chair for hours on end without allowing them to get up or change positions.  Think about how often you need to shift positions, or stand up, or move around some.  If you couldn't do that on your own, how much pain would you be in?  The facility should be notified if your loved one has a back issue or arthritis in a certain part of their body and should be sensitive to their need to move around.  Sometimes all a resident needs is to stand up for a few minutes.

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Also watch to see if the staff is mindful that a resident might need something to drink in between meals.  Think about how many times you get a drink throughout the day.  Is the staff mindful or considerate that someone who might

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Unfortunately the facility that we chose for memory care only has a license that covers a "one person transfer", and the resident must be able to feed themselves.  When mom became a two person transfer and needed help with eating, we had to move to skilled nursing.  

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Hospice was called in to help, but they have limited hours of care.  We could have called in private care but again, the hours we were told we needed were impossible to cover and the cost is expensive. 

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We had to make one more move, which was to a Skilled Nursing facility.  There's no nice way to say it, it's a nursing home.  It's half of a room,  which they call "semi-private", and she's one of MANY there.  We opted for the facility that we were told has the best care.  It's not the newest or prettiest in the area, but the staff isn't foreign with thick accents that mom can't understand, it's clean, and it doesn't smell.  Most of the staff have been there for over ten years, so they are stable and caring and dependable.

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It's difficult to go through this entire process, but being there helps a lot.  One member of the family goes to see my mom every day.  We let her know we love her and that we're checking on her and she hears us ask questions about her care.  That gives her a lot of comfort all by itself.  Even with her memory issues, she still knows who we are and can call us by name most days.  This isn't the "golden years" we had hoped for her, but we surround her with our love and we work hard to be sure she has the best care in the area.

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We hope our story can help you assess and locate the best place for your loved one.  Please feel free to contact should you have any questions.

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